Cele-brat-ies

 

To borrow a quote from ‘Friends:’ It’s a wonder that Justin Bieber doesn’t fall down more.

You’d think that with so much to lose, his antics would revolve around being a halfway decent role model to his fans. Instead he drinks and drives, apparently makes a habit of biting the nipples of strippers (and I would like to point out that strippers cannot be touched by customers, so was she really who she said she was? Hmm…) and he has even spat off a balcony at the people who’d spent their hard earned money to see him.  (Why? You’d have to ask a shrink on that one.)

And now, the cherry to go on top of the many tiered, thoroughly iced cake (mmmm cake): Miley Cyrus has criticised him for HIS behaviour, saying “he should party in private.”

Well, is it acceptable to point out the irony there? That many were disgusted when she revealed her own private parties on national television whilst riding a very large wrecking ball (euphemism anyone?).

And with all this going on, another “celeb” has got me questioning the sanity of the stars. Taylor Swifts’ frankly weird dancing and head bashing had me scared of her giving herself a concussion when she performed her new song at the Grammys.

There goes the head.

And the hair.

 

She reorientates herself.

 

Oh the poor thing, she looks confused about her own, erm, ‘dancing’.

I sometimes miss the good old days when all that was on T.V were badly dressed girl groups doing nothing but chant annoying lyrics on a badly composed but fun looking set: “So tell me what you want, what you really really want.”

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…”

A tissue.

Twit-ter

Being a fabulously English bird and all (Fabulous? See, I do have a sense of humour!) I’ve not really been acquainted with American chat show hosts that much-the incredible Ellen DeGeneres excluded.

However, over the last few days I find myself being drawn to the witty and entertaining Jimmy Kimmel and one thing that I enjoyed the most was the featured “Mean Tweets.” Various celebrities from different career fields read out mean tweets posted by fans (or haters I should say) on the mind-boggling world of twitter (seriously, I tried to set myself up a profile and gave up after the first minute).

And, I have to say, despite the harshness of some of the posts (some actually rang true) they had a certain, shall we say, jocular quality.

Here are some of my favourites:

1. @IMKristenBell is so f***ing ugly . Way too ugly to play Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman.

2. Dear God, give us 2pac back and we’ll give you Justin Beiber.

3. @selenagomez is on the radio right now. is there a volume lower than mute?

4. I saw Larry King at dinner! But it might have been just a run of the mill goblin

5. I just saw @jessicaalba. If this was 2007 i’d be really excited.

Disagree with me? Or do you have your own you like best?